YOU CAN have your MasterChefs, Real Housewives, Bachelors and Bachelorettes.
Right now, the best reality show on TV is the North Melbourne Football Club. In consecutive prime-time matches we have seen them fall apart through injury and then fall short against Geelong, and then win the fights but not the footy against the Hawks.
No problems here with their physical approach against Hawthorn, although it is not quite right to suggest it has been going on for years. Only two years ago (the Brian Lake v Drew Petrie game), the Kangaroos won comfortably and Friday night's clash was just the second game between them since.
The Kangaroos' chief problem against the Hawks was their schoolboy finishing in front of goal. Their terrific pressure around the ground wasn't translated to the scoreboard and they couldn't get the margin out towards five goals, which would have put some fear into the Hawks.
The six-day break probably didn't help North – having the extra day certainly assisted Hawthorn – and now they face a similarly short turnaround ahead of the first Thursday night clash against Adelaide at Adelaide Oval.
It is hardly the ideal build-up to a game that could send the formerly ladder-leading Kangaroos tumbling from the top four. The AFL executive will on Monday morning outline potential sanctions for North and Brad Scott after his ill-timed and embarrassing outburst on Friday night, and for club and coach it will be like the naughty school kids waiting for the principal to issue his punishment. You know what is coming, but you aren't sure what it will be.
The guess here is a fine, something at the low end of five figures and part of it suspended. Throw in some sort of umpire education and promotional message from Scott as well as a full apology.
But the Kangas will wake up on Monday morning and will already be halfway through their preparation for the Crows. Thursday night footy is great for fans, but bloody hard work for the clubs and North, even with the likely return of hard-nut midfielders Andrew Swallow and Ben Cunnington, will be hard up against it considering the Crows will be fresh and rested after their bye.
The complaint among some North Melbourne people is that they're off Broadway and that they don't get paid enough attention even when they're going well. That can't be said this week.
They have been the heavyweights of the competition for the past decade, and their rivalry in that time has become the best in the game, and based on events at Etihad Stadium over the weekend within 24 hours of each other, the question can be asked:
Are Geelong and Hawthorn on track to meet in the Grand Final?
Yes, there is so much footy still to be played this year and the Sydney Swans and Greater Western Sydney have some claims, Adelaide is coming fast, and North Melbourne and the Western Bulldogs cannot be discounted when they're close to full strength.
But the heavyweights are circling each other and we can dare to dream of another chapter of the rivalry being written on the biggest stage of the year.
The Cats have been irrepressible the last three weeks. The losses to Collingwood and Carlton seems eons ago and their football over the past three weeks in overcoming the Giants, North Melbourne and the Western Bulldogs has been as good as we have seen by any side the past few years.
Last week against the Kangas, 'Dangerwood' (Patrick Dangerfield and Joel Selwood) combined for 86 possessions. Against the Bulldogs, they had 65 and were just as dangerous again.
It's interesting to hear the spin out of the Cats they still need to fix a few things. That's a bit like Francis Ford Coppola saying he'd like to reshoot a few scenes from The Godfather.
The Cats still have a return clash with the Bulldogs to come and also have the Swans and the Crows on their schedule. But all three games are at Simonds Stadium, which is becoming the fortress of old once more.
We've said before that this is one of the more even seasons for some time and as such, premiership favouritism will change. For now and the foreseeable future, that mantle belongs to the Cats, but they'll be watching their old foes carefully.
The Hawks were entitled to enjoy their win on Friday night. It was a rugged night against the Kangaroos and the home team won many of the key statistics, except for the one that counts, on the scoreboard.
Alastair Clarkson would be thrilled that his team with stood a dominant first quarter from the Kangaroos and largely ignored the niggle – aimed mainly at his younger players, it must be noted – instead waiting until the game was played on their terms, and then they pounced.
The win catapulted them into the top four and for the Hawks, that's what it is all about. The mantra at Hawthorn is the same every year – make the top four after the home and away campaign, and then the season starts again. This side is probably not good enough to win the flag from outside the top four, but give the Hawks a double chance in September and it becomes a different story, one we have seen in 2013, 2014 and 2015 that has the happiest of endings.
Sunday's surprise twilight delight
Who would have thought the Sunday twilight game between Essendon and GWS would be so entertaining and interesting?
The Bombers played arguably their best game since their round two win over Melbourne. Who knows when their next win will be forthcoming, but they played with spirit and dare and forced the Giants to dig deep for their 27-point win.
The 14,463 crowd was the seventh-lowest for an AFL game at Etihad Stadium and the lowest by a considerable margin for a game involving Essendon at the venue. Based on what the Bombers offered, a few more of their fans would have wished they had made the effort to go.
The Giants were very sluggish for large periods. What is it with them when Shane Mumford isn't playing? It's like he sets the tone and then the rest follow.
Thank heavens for Toby Greene. The livewire small forward sparked the Giants once again with four goals and he now has 17 from his last five games. If he's not in the discussion for All Australian selection he should be.
Orazio Fantasia kicked four goals for the Bombers and Matthew Kennedy three for the Giants in his debut game. Hawk James Sicily should have the NAB AFL Rising Star nomination sewn up after his five goals on Friday night, but Fantasia and Kennedy will have at least given the selectors a bit more to chew on.
And a round of applause for umpires Mathew Nicholls, Robert Findlay and Craig Fleet. As part of the AFL's four field umpire trial, which resumed on the weekend, they umpired both the Kangas-Hawks game on Friday night and then backed up again on Sunday.
The data won't come out until Monday but there will be great interest in how many kilometres they logged this weekend and whether the extra distance covered affected their decision-making.
The AFL is itching to give the green light to four field umpires as a permanent arrangement and the figures out of this weekend will play a key role in that decision.
Need for speed on ump probe
If there is anything in footy that is more sacrosanct in footy than the head, it is the umpiring fraternity, which helps explain why the AFL moved so swiftly on Saturday morning to establish whether there was any truth to Brad Scott's explosive post-match comments the night before.
The timing came into play. What the AFL didn't want heading into a weekend of football, not just at the elite level but every competition around the country, was an issue over the integrity of umpires because it only takes one idiot to take their cue from what happens at the top level of the game.
Look no further than the (allegedly) great game of rugby league, where referee-bashing is a near-weekly feature of NRL post-match media conferences. This apparent lack of respect by such key stakeholders in that game leads to an environment where on Saturday, a 16-year-old referee, Kurt Portsmouth, was allegedly punched in the head while officiating at an under-12 game by a trainer from one of the teams after Portsmouth asked the trainer's son, who was playing in the game, to leave the field.
It was a sickening episode and rugby league authorities moved swiftly to take action. But the NRL only has itself to blame for the culture it has created and the AFL is determined not to go down the same path.
This one will be done and dusted by lunchtime Monday.
Other observations
1. The Cats were remarkably accurate on Saturday night as they put 16.4 past the Bulldogs. It was only the second time for the year the Dogs have conceded 100 points or more. We have loved the work of Luke Beveridge's back six all year – no matter how injury-ravaged – but reinforcements are needed. The Dogs are on their bye this week, but should have Easton Wood and Koby Stevens back in a fortnight, and they'll be needed at the SCG against the Swans. Jason Johannisen should resume in the VFL and be back the week after that. And not before time.
2. Port Adelaide is back to 6-7 and any discussion about its finals hopes from here on in needs the word 'mathematical' as a prefix because that's what it has been pretty much reduced to. Saturday's clash with Fremantle was game of lead changes and momentum shifts, but the Power now have the rest of the season and the summer that follows to rue some dreadful conversion in time-on in the third quarter. Chad Wingard, Ollie Wines and Aaron Young all missed gettable shots that would have given Port the momentum shift and the lead heading into the most important quarter of the season to date. Over the course of the season, the Power just haven't been quite good enough and their failings in front of goal when the heat was really on were yet another example of that.
3. We said it last week and it bears repeating. Fremantle will be a difficult outing for the rest of the season, particularly at home, and Freo will relish the chance of playing the spoiler. That's three straight wins for the Dockers after their 0-10 start to the season, but their first against genuine quality. What was notable on Saturday was a return to the patented Freo pressure game of old and the great performance of two old stagers. Matthew Pavlich moved beautifully and kicked four goals and Freo fans should keep this game on the hard drive because it might be one of his last match-defining performances. But the hero was Michael Barlow, dropped back to the WAFL a few weeks back and most certainly playing for his career, who racked up 43 touches, nine clearances, eight tackles and two goals, all while keeping Robbie Gray to 18 touches. It was a phenomenal performance and one that will give Ross Lyon food for thought as he starts to contemplate list changes at the end of the year.
4. Luke Parker (17). Isaac Heeney (13). That's tackles, not possessions as the Swans broke the AFL's tackle record with 155 at a sodden SCG on Sunday against Melbourne. It was a fair day's work for the Swans on an afternoon with no redeeming features, and John Longmire would be delighted with the intent and the industry of his men after an uncharacteristically poor outing the week before.
5. And with the 55-point loss to the Swans, Melbourne coach Paul Roos bade farewell to the ground with which he became synonymous as a fine player and premiership coach with the Sydney Swans. The game was probably over by the time the heavens opened – the home team was always going to have the edge in the wet – but as he counts down towards the end of his official time in the game he can take comfort in having been one of the most significant AFL identities, behind perhaps only Tony Lockett and Adam Goodes, in the history of the SCG.
6. We're in the midst of the bye period and not just for the players and coaches. This writer is shutting down the keyboard, just for a week in order to freshen up for the run to the finals. This column will be the capable hands of Nick Bowen next weekend and I'll be back in a fortnight.