IF
 		THEN
 
Adelaide
 		you closely watch Josh Jenkins play ...... you'll see he runs just about as hard as any other forward in the comp. He pays market price, and sometimes a bit over, for those "cheapies" from the goal square.
Brisbane Lions
 		another three, and quite possibly four or five, wins are not added before season's end ...... it will be impossible to sell hope into 2017.
Carlton
 		we're going to give you a month of syrupy praise ...... it's only right that we now question your headspace in last week's loss to the Saints. Please assure us it wasn't a case of big heads.
Collingwood
 		we were Travis Cloke ...... we'd be asking Bucks this: "Am I part of your big-picture plans?" If the answer is 'no', then we're seeking permission to make it public.
Essendon
 		you represent the Bombers and you start bemoaning the actions of another club for acting "outside the laws of the game" by having a chat with one of your drug-banned players ...... we have to remind you: for the foreseeable future you have fully relinquished any right to question the morals and ethics of others.
Fremantle
 		Zac Clarke wants a future with the Dockers ...... he'll need to dominate against Port Adelaide. Gets his chance to do so.
Geelong
 		you could cue that Chris Scott-shocked vision ...... you'd be playing it on loop after the Cats found a way to beat the Giants and Roos (sans Hawkins), having lost the previous two matches to Collingwood and Carlton.
Gold Coast
 		Dion Prestia and Jaeger O'Meara are at the Suns next year ...... we'll be surprised.
Greater Western Sydney

 		we've ridden Toby Greene hard, and we have ...... it's only right that we now fully acknowledge his pure footy smarts and laud him for the significant impact he has had on this team which seems capable of absolutely anything.
Hawthorn
 		you've played in the past four Grand Finals and you get to 9-3 without contributions from your most important player (Roughead) and captain (Hodge) ...... you're going outstandingly. No matter what happens against North.
Melbourne
 		there's a better pure footy story to emerge in 2016 than that of Max Gawn ...... we're not aware of it.
North Melbournethe Roos simply have to do something in the next seven days ...... it is to win at least one of Friday night's game against Hawthorn and next Thursday's fixture versus the Crows. Given the tough run home, losses in both will leave it extremely vulnerable for a top four finish.
Port Adelaide
 		this weekend's match looked like a gimme three weeks ago ...... it doesn't look that way now. Needs to grind its way to a win against the Dockers in Perth if it is to figure in finals.
Richmond
 		we missed the juicy Brownlow odds on 'The Bont' ...... we're not going to do the same with Dusty. Loving the way he's stood up throughout 2016.
St Kilda
 		Jack Steven isn't captain next year ...... we're reading the signs incorrectly.
Sydney Swans
 		there's one guy who needs to now step right up for the Swans ...... it is the off-season ruck recruit Cal Sinclair. Tippett is a massive loss.
West Coast
 		there's a fall that has surprised us this season ...... it's Eric Mackenzie's. Best-and-fairest in 2014. Missed 2015 with a knee. Badly out of sorts in 2016. And now finds himself out of the Eagles' 22.
Western Bulldogsyou're Jack Redpath ...... you're just loving every moment right now. But you're probably also wondering how, on 2016 books, you're getting paid only about one eighth of what the bloke you're keeping in the VFL is getting.