IF
 		THEN
 
Adelaide
 

you rack up 177 points against the Brisbane Lions ...

... we've got you down for 145-plus against the Dockers.
Brisbane Lions
 

something doesn't make sense to us right now ...

... it is that we somehow give the Lions a chance this week against the Blues.
Carlton
 

things looked really good there for a while mid-season ...

... we've had a reality check for much of the latter rounds. But we know SOS will again go nuts in the trade period.
Collingwood
 

Bucks chooses to axe Cloke three times in a season ...

... that is his right. But he is then obliged to help facilitate for him a move out of the joint. And as of Thursday night selection, Cloke desperately wants out. Another one bites the Buckley dust.
Essendon
 

there's been two really good things to come out of this season from hell ...

... their names are Zach Merrett and Anthony McDonald-Tipungwuti.
Fremantle
 

you're the Dockers and you're playing at home and bookies have you listed as an $8 chance ...

... nothing better illustrates the almighty crash of 2016.
Geelong
 

Danger wants to make sure of what is probably already his ...

... no better way to do so than turning it on against a team which boasts the player most consider to be the biggest threat.
Gold Coast
 

Steven May didn't put Stef Martin into next week when he ran into him back in April ...

... he'd be a lock for All Australian. Might still have time to get there.
Greater Western Sydney

 

you needed proof that this team boasts competition-best depth ...

... note that Wilson has been omitted this week.
Hawthorn
 

Clarko turns to a 19-year-old kid in a crunch match three weeks out from finals ...

... the kid must have something special. And just the four VFL games needed this year for Ryan Burton.
Melbourne
 

Lillee-Marsh had a nice ring to it for MCG patrons back in the '80s ...

... Gawn-Viney may become the current decade's equivalent.
North Melbourne

Brad Scott wants to make something of a season that has dramatically slipped from being nicely controlled ...

... he needs to be prepared to do something different and make changes within games. Nothing to lose now.
Port Adelaide
 		Dixon (six touches last week), Gray (seven) and Ebert (nine) need to find motivation and inspiration ...... sit down in front of a TV and watch, on loop, Power fan Kyle Chalmers' seventh-to-first last 50m of the Rio Olympics 100m freestyle final.
Richmond
 

Dusty wants to keep challenging for something that is probably out of his grasp ...

... no better way to do so than having a blinder against a team containing the player considered to be over the line.
St Kilda
 

you think of a caged animal having the door swung open to freedom ...

... think Paddy McCartin this week. Back in the seniors after another frustrating concussion and even more frustrating weeks in the VFL. We're tipping a best-on-ground performance.
Sydney Swans
 

Naismith and Nankervis can steer this side through to a top-four finish while Tippett and Sinclair are sidelined ...

... Longmire is even better than we know him to be.
West Coast
 

there's a player upon which we'll be taking a close look this weekend ...

... it's Tom Barrass. Simpson has backed him ahead of Mackenzie to take on Cameron, Lobb, Patton. Good luck.
Western Bulldogs

things pan out a certain way ...

... there is a chance the Dogs will add Hurley and Cloke at the end of the year. Love the boldness.
 And wait, there's more, as per constant reader request ... 
AFL

you choose to bump and make nasty head-high contact with an opponent ...

... these days it is OK. Just ask Cyril Rioli. And remember, we already know it's OK in 2016 to land solid blows with jumper punches and gut punches too. Nice messages to send to the lesser and junior comps.